Writing Tip: Dialogue That Moves!
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- 3/2/2008 |
- 10:00 am
When you create dialogue in your stories, remember to include character movement and activity. It's important for many reasons, two of which we'll cover in this month's tip...
First, let's define what we mean by character activity and movement. Consider this piece of dialogue, which has no movement at all:
"How long do you think these leftovers have been in the fridge?" Jason said.
"I don't know," Ashley said. "Let me smell them and see if they're still good. Ugh, no, they smell horrible. Toss them out."
For one thing, the characters aren't really talking like real people. We're used to using action to fill in blanks when we talk. Here's that same scene, with movement that takes the place of dialogue:
Jason pulled the container out of the refrigerator. "How long do you think this has been in here?"
"I don't know," Ashley said, pulling off the lid and running her nose over the contents. She pulled back with a sick look. 'Ugh, toss them out."
See the difference? In real life we let our actions and our expressions tell much of the story. The same should happen with your dialogue. Show your characters reaction, rather than telling us their reaction.
You want to mix in action and movement within your dialogue for two main reasons:
(1) It allows you to create realistic settings and activity in your story. Your characters begin to move about the way you do in real life, so your reader will feel like they are watching a scene in their head. The dialogue won't be so stuffy and fake.
(2) It will break up a long string of 'he said' and 'she said.' Notice in our second example that there was no mention of 'Jason said?' The action (Jason pulling the container out) told us that the next words spoken were his. The reader understands that, and it keeps you from having ten lines in a row that scream 'he said.'
Of course, you can overdo the movement and activity, as well. When you're working on your revision, notice how many times you use 'said,' and how many times you work in some action. There should always be a healthy balance. It will keep your readers from getting worn out!
