Say It, Don't Exclaim It!
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- 5/5/2009 |
- 10:00 am
Writers often try too hard to dress up a sentence, to make it seem much more brilliant than the simple sentence it was meant to be. Often that means giving up on using "said" and replacing it with something colorful and descriptive. Please, don't fall into this cheap habit. Here's why...
It's a short cut, when you think about it. You're trying to really build suspense into a scene, so when Quentin communicates with Holly, it goes like this:
"Don't go in there," Quentin gasped in alarm.
"Why not?" Holly pleaded.
"Because it could blow up any minute," Quentin croaked.
Oh, brother. That is a classic case of trying to drive a point home by banging your reader over the head. Believe me, if you've done a good job of describing the scene and the tension, you don't need cheap tricks like this. This month's writing tip is in defense of the word "said."
In my Galahad book series, you will rarely see an instance where a character does anything except "say" something. Why? Because the word "said" is practically invisible when you read; after a while it barely registers. Having your characters "croak," or "exclaim," or "roar," however, stands out miserably.
You might ask, 'Well, what if I want my character to whisper something? Is it wrong to say Quentin whispered?'
No, it's not wrong, but you can do it another way. For instance, you might use the word whisper in setting up the dialogue, like this:
By the time he caught up to Holly, Quentin was close to panic. He leaned in, his voice barely a whisper, and said, "Stay close to me."
It's okay to stray every once in a while, but the vast majority of the time you should stick with "said," and let your paragraph describe the necessary drama and/or emotion. Believe me, this will improve every aspect of your story, not just the dialogue. Good luck, and have fun!
