Perfect

His name was Kevin, and he was a friend of a friend. I didn't see him that often, but often enough to learn an early lesson. Kevin taught me everything I needed to know about perfection.

Not about being perfect; no, he taught me how to avoid the perfection trap.

Don't get the wrong idea. Kevin was far from perfect. In fact, that's the point. Kevin practically basked in the idea that he was flawed, and at some point in his life had latched onto the idea that his imperfections were the foundation of the many, many poor choices that he made. And, because he wasn't perfect, he was therefore immune from blame and accountability.

I can't even count how many times I heard him boast of his poor decisions, often with a grin that seemed to court sympathy. At the end of each detailed screw-up he would laugh, and with a shrug say: 'œWell, nobody's perfect.'쳌

Yes, Kevin, that's right: nobody's perfect. But when you continue to follow the same path, repeating the same mistakes over and over again because you somehow enjoy the role of the sad sack, or you're determined to remain firmly attached to immaturity, then the repeated cry of 'œnobody's perfect'쳌 begins to fall on deaf ears. Most of us recognize a crutch when we see one.

Here's what I learned from simply observing Kevin: It's not about being perfect. It's about learning from those imperfections. To merely repeat the same mistakes over and over, and then wash it all away by casually tossing out a cliche like that, doesn't fool anyone.

I'm fortunate enough to present various programs at middle schools and high schools, and occasionally we'll talk about this concept. As I tell the students, rather than aiming for perfection, what about aiming for improvement? Rather than never making a mistake, what about attempting to never repeat a mistake?

As with many things in life, it comes down to choice. Sure, you can choose to avoid responsibility by cursing the gods, the universe, your genes, or whomever you blame for your poor human frailty. Or you can suck it up, knuckle down, and work toward making yourself the best version of yourself that you can be. I believe that you're making great progress when you've eliminated that tired phrase from your vocabulary completely.

How do you handle the slips and falls that we all make during our lives? Do you lean on an excuse that will - in your mind, at least - provide you with a hall pass to continually fall again? Certainly the easier path is to make excuses, and claiming 'œnobody's perfect'쳌 is perhaps the easiest of all. But you might as well announce to the rest of us that the sun rises in the east, or that we're all going to die someday.

We know you haven't mastered perfection. Would you like to take a stab at improvement?

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