Look Mom! Straight M's!

Somewhere in a box in my basement I've tucked away a single report card from my days in elementary school. It's the one, lonely testament to twelve years of public school, twelve years of sitting up straight, learning multiplication tables, and memorizing state capitals.

I haven't seen it in years, but I think it registers mostly A's, one B (I never could master art class), and a comment about my improving penmanship. It clearly spelled out my strengths and weaknesses, and neither I nor my parents were foggy about my progress.

Now, fast-forward to our more 'œenlightened'쳌 age. I had an interesting conversation with a friend of mine who has one daughter in high school and another in seventh grade. She was attempting to explain the point system that the school district has implemented to replace A's, B's, and so forth. When I asked her what had motivated the change, she rolled her eyes and said: 'œThey're trying to spare the feelings of kids who get D's and F's.'쳌

Somehow, I suppose, a 1 is less painful than a D. Never mind that 1 = D. And no, that's not an emoticon.

Oh, but it gets better. I next heard from the mother of a seven-year-old who had rushed home with a report card of straight M's. Hooray! Straight M's!

Wait...what's an M?

Ah, silly person, don't you know that an M means they've 'œMastered'쳌 the class? Well, you know now. In fact, the school breaks it down in this manner:

M:   Mastered. My, that sounds impressive! D:   Developing.  This has nothing to do with training bras. S:   Satisfactory. Which this scale is not. NI:  (wait for it.....) Needs improvement!  Well, don't we all!

It's a crock, folks. And before you assume that I don't like change, slow down. If this shift meant improving our educational system, hallelujah. But instead it's a cop-out.

This is a case of ignoring the flaws in the system and choosing to concentrate on how we protect the self-esteem of a few students. But it doesn't work that way. If you think an F has a stigma, I've got a news flash for you: kids will figure out in about two seconds that an NI is the same thing as a D or F. Then what do you change it to?

This is a not-so-clever dodge by some to deflect attention from the issue of declining student aptitude and redirecting it toward the preservation of feelings. I'm more concerned with academic results. If you want to continually amend the grading system from an A to a 4 to an M, you're missing the point. It's not the letter grade; it's the knowledge associated with that grade.

Students aren't fooled by an NI any more than they're fooled by the small percentage of soccer parents who don't want the kids to keep score during a game. Uh, hello; every child on the field knows exactly what the score is, and guess what? They know exactly how they're doing with their schoolwork, too. Dressing up a D and calling it a 1 to make it pretty is ridiculous.

We're in a serious struggle today with our educational efforts. It's analogous to a house whose foundation is settling and causing major cracks in the walls. Instead of fixing the foundation we're simply slathering a load of spackle over the cracks, and then feigning shock when the cracks reappear. The whole movement deserves a big, red-letter F.

Lord knows my artwork still Needs Improvement, but the reason I can tell you that Lansing is the capital of Michigan and that the square root of 36 is 6 is because a teacher - and a school district - focused on results. Apparently Mrs. Miller had more important things on her mind than sending me home with straight M's and shiny self-esteem.

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